I'm back in the flat I share with A today. He's coming back from seeing family tomorrow. So, I'm a little emotional. I burst into tears as soon as I entered the flat. I was surrounded by happy people today and the girl that I sat next to on the train was super skinny. I kept admiring how slim her legs were. Amazing! I swung back and to between these happy people making me want to hurl and feeling privileged that I had glimpsed a brief moment of joy in their lives. No matter how bitter and twisted I am right now and no matter how much I crave moments like that I concluded the latter. If these moments are not a reality for me at the moment at least I can enjoy seeing others experience something I desire so much right now. I'm glad there is happiness out there. It makes it more tangible.
I met a dear family friend today. He is over from Canada coaching one of the Canadian teams. His wife ordered some jewellery so I popped over to see him and deliver the pieces. It was lovely to see him but after the brief catch up chit chat he wangled another ticket to the rugby game the team were going to watch that night. I was introduced to everyone which was nice but I felt awkward. My people skills are not good. I need to improve on this. I think maybe I'm too closed, quiet, unable to talk about trivial things.
One point I listed the other day under things I hate about myself was my inability to make friends. A girl once summed it up in a nutshell for me when I mentioned this to her. She said she was surprised but at the same time she though I was one of the nicest people she's met but never really felt the need to be friends with me. Maybe my barriers make me too bland. Note to self: try to make at least one friend (FOR THE LOVE OF OLIVES!!!).
I promised a photo showing my hair in proper light and not salon straight so here it is:
**image removed**
Day 18 of the 30 Day Song Challenge is a song I wish I heard on the radio. It was a close call between Ghost by Gregory and the Hawk and Kilojules by Freelance Whales. To try to keep things non repetitive I chose Ghost by Gregory and the Hawk.
I'll apologise in advance if I don't blog tomorrow. A's return may yield drama. That was a lie. It will yield drama... Can't wait.... (that was a rather heavy dose of sarcasm)
Love always, B x
2 comments:
Gorgeous! I love the color and it looks so shiny and healthy. Can I ask what color you used on it, and what color your hair used to be? Mine is really dark brown, but kind of blah dark brown. I haven't colored it in ages and I am feeling the need to spice it up for summer.
I used Herbatint Mahogany Chestnut and I didn't realise it would be so red but I'm glad it is! My hair was a darkish brown before. My Mom used a blonde dye and she loved her colour too. I'm tempted to try plum next ^_^ Hope you find your summer colour. Yay! to new hair in time for the sunshine.
B x
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